My NEW blog

OK....I LOVE MY NEW BLOG!!!

A few months ago I logged on to my sister's blog and saw that she had pretty flowers and ribbons and beautiful colors on her blog. Now, while she is talented and smart...she is not THAT talented and smart :-) We have a brother who is THAT talented and smart when it comes to web stuff but I just couldn't envision him sitting around and creating a beautiful blog for my sister....especially when I am paying him to be working on a new website for me!!

So, I asked...how did you get your blog like that??? The answer was "You need to get in touch with Erin at www.DesignerBlogs.com". Well, wasn't that easy!!

I contacted Erin, she told me to pick out a theme that I liked (that took awhile) and then a layout and we would get moving on it. If you know anything about me you know that I have a love affair with Hawaii that has lasted more than 18 years. So, when I found this package theme I knew it was for me. Erin did the rest.

So, now that I have a new and amazing blog I want to start spending more time here...and I hope that you will too!! I still need to figure out how to change those stupid blog links since most of those people are using Facebook and not blogging anymore and I want to add new ones that I am reading!! Well, there will be time for that later.

In the meantime I am going to go and mix myself a Mai Tai and stare at my computer screen and wish myself back to Hawaii for tonight....and maybe for tomorrow too...the plane ride is kinda long for just a 1 night stay...

Aloha :-)

What is my purpose???

So much has been going on in my life...both professionally and personally that taking time to blog has really been more of a "have to" than a "want to".

Today I got my "want to" back. I have something really important to share. Something that I want to record indefinitely. Something that I will want to go back and read in the future.

A few months back I was sent this link http://deathisnotdying.com/fullvideo/. Honestly, I really did not want to take 55 minutes of my day to watch it. It was sent to me on Facebook and I get so much stuff sent to me and most of it is unimportant. For a reason I still don't know, one quiet afternoon I clicked on play and sat enraptured for the entire time.

Rachel Barkey, this woman my age, was dying of cancer. She has 2 children ages 7 and 5. My 2 oldest children are the same age. I cried through this video and realized how shaken my faith has become in the past while. Here was a DYING woman being humble and not self serving in the information that she spoke of. In he midst of this battle for her life, she was fulfilling her purpose of "Serving with Joy". I so badly wanted to be in that room with her. I wanted to feel what serving with joy felt like. I know that I am serving, doing a lot of it, probably very little of it with joy. At that moment I was VERY unsure of what my purpose is and I was completely overwhelmed with getting to a place where I could find out.

I took the coward's way out and just walked away from the tugging in my heart to spend some time revisiting my purpose.

On July 3rd I saw a post on Facebook that Rachel Barkey has passed away. She had just turned 38. I will be 38 on July 28. As I looked more closely and read other peoples posts I realized that I knew this amazing woman!! Rachel Barkey was as I knew her in high school, Rachel Sawer.

Rachel was a year behind me in school at MEI. She was the star basketball player and the star volleyball player. She always seemed so nice. So, while I am sure that I haven't seen Rachel in 20 years since I graduated, I did at one point know her. As I listened again to the video, I wished that she has been someone that I had known better.

Rachel Sawer Barkey, in the last part of her life and now in her death, has been a woman to hear and hear well. Her words have challenged me. Her passion has ignited a flame in me to search more deeply. Her love has reminded me to hold my children when I can and to say "yes" to them whenever possible. Her steadfastness has told me that God is in charge...no matter how out of control things feel. Her grace reinforces that even in our most difficult times we can use them to help others who are also in need.

I will not be the same woman, wife, mother, business woman, friend, sister, daughter or grandchild that I was before watching this video. For Rachel's part in that I am eternally grateful. To my Heavenly Father, I am thankful that there is never anything I can do to make You love me more...but there is nothing that I can do to make You love me less. I will now no longer be a coward but I will press on to find my purpose. I will do this in a way that allows God to be who He IS and not who I want Him to be because it is just more convenient that way.

Now I pray for Neil and Quinn and Kate...may they find peace and love and comfort along the road ahead without their wife and mama. Rachel is no longer in pain and has a new body and is in heaven with Jesus. We who are left here are better people and better Christians because of Rachel and the legacy she will leave.

I do not know what this new path will hold for me but I am going to bravely walk down it with my husband and my children. I will find my purpose and when I do...I will finally be able to rest.

Thank you...

Integrity

OK...first of all, sorry I missed a few days of writing. It has been a crazy week.

Today's topic is INTEGRITY...

My question is "How do some people not get this quality?"

In everything I have done in my business and hopefully my life, I have done with integrity in place. My business could end up in the gutter but I would NEVER sell out my integrity to keep it.

I come across so many amazing people who possess integrity in spades and I try hard to be in their presence and then to find others like them to surround myself with.

Every once in a while a "bad apple" sneaks in....and I HATE that. I always want to give people the benefit of the doubt, that they are who they say they are. I have no reason to think otherwise at that moment. Even though I shouldn't, I go back and kick myself for being so trusting when they now prove themselves to be anything but who they presented themselves to be.

Sigh...I need to not take that stuff so personally and that is hard for me. How they conduct business has no bearing or reflection on me. That is on them. I am going to continue being a trailblazer and a visionary. People are going to want to cut me down at the ankles. I know that but I have to figure out a way to get some thicker skin or a way to hide my ankles and in the summer that is proving to be hard :-)

So, until tomorrow dearest blog....(thanks for being such a good listener...I feel a bit better already)

One of those days...

Today was one of THOSE days....

I don't even know how to explain it. Nothing terrible happened...but still it seemed like a completely underwhelming day.

I think that so often I just run around like a chicken with my head cut off that coming back to reality for a moment kinda sucks.

I am a wife and mother...I am an entrepreneur and a business owner...I am a daughter and a sister...I am a friend and a confidant...

Sometimes I forget to be just me and I think that often takes the joy out of some of the other things I get to do on a daily basis.

What person wouldn't love the chance to own their own business and spend the day at the pool with their kids....4 or 5 days a week?? Instead of enjoying it and being in the moment with the kids I am worrying about the next thing...the bills to be paid, the groceries to get, the next business meeting, the high maintenance client....the list seems endless....

Tomorrow I am going to enjoy my life for what it is...I will spend more time being in this moment and less time worrying about the ones that are still to come...

Regardless of whether or not I worry...they are still going to come...

Here is to less worrying and more enjoying being me....

So, until tomorrow dearest blog....

You're Out!!

See that man in the blue and gray uniform??? This blog post is totally dedicated to him...

We took the kids to the Salem Red Sox game tonight and at one point the boys yelled loudly "Hey Vampire...you're OUT!!"

There that is my post for today :-) My children do not know that there is a difference between an UMpire and a VAMpire...and with the way that the calls were going this evening...I am not sure that I do either :-)

So, until tomorrow dearest blog...

Genetic Make Up

Well, there is no question that my children - that I carried for 9 months and gave birth to without the use of drugs - do not look a thing like me.

Friends and family, acquaintances and strangers have all at one point or another made a comment something like "Your children sure do look their father."

NEWS FLASH - I KNOW!!! I do all that I can on a daily basis to find things in the children that will show me that I may have had something to do with their conception.

Yesterday Bryden and I were at the pool and as I went to put sunscreen on her I hear the most beautiful words that come out of her mouth. Words that confirm to me that she just may have some of me in her DNA.

I had a whole handful of Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen ready to apply and she says "That smells wonderful!"

It was right then that I knew that this little girl is most definitely her Mama's girl. There is NOTHING more that I love than the smell of coconut. I would wear Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen all day every day if it was necessary...kinda like perfume I suppose. It conjures up memories of Hawaii and the beach and the ocean...a place that I can't wait to take Jim and the kids to one day.

For the time being they will have to be happy with the sunscreen and a day at the pool. I will be reveling in the fact that Bryden showed a side of her today that was all me :-)

So, until tomorrow dearest blog....

Being Kicked out of School

Hayden James Palmer is my middle child, my first born boy. He can be quite serious but other times he can be a REAL goofball...hamming it up for a crowd or for the camera. He has a smile that lights up a room and eyes that are truly a camera to his soul.

Hayden loves to draw. He could spend hours tracing pictures as well as drawing things free hand. He is much more the artist than anyone else in the family. Hayden also loves to build with Lego. He creates the most amazing things. I know what they are just by looking at them...no explaining involved.

So, my boy is a pretty linear thinker...architect maybe?? Hayden likes things to be in firm words and terms....not a lot of room for gray in his world. Black or white...very literal.

We were driving to the gym today and Hayden said "Mama did you know that a boy got kicked out of Bryden's school?" I told him that I did not know that. The question that followed was priceless and depicts a perfect image of my sweet boy.

"Mama, when kids get kicked out of school does the teacher use their foot?"

What do you say to that?? I laughed a big laugh and told my boy that that was a great question!! He was very smart to ask that :-)

I hope that my Hayden made you laugh today too and think about kids who get "kicked out of school" in a whole different light.

So, until tomorrow dearest blog...