The Love of My Boy

Yeah, today is Friday and it is the day that Hayden and I get to spend a little bit of time together. Landen is sleeping and Bryden is at school so Hayden and I get to have some fun.

For anyone who knows me well you will know 2 things. The first is that I always said that I would not have children (or get married for that matter). My logic was that I didn't need my own because I taught swimming lesson or coached competitive swimmers all year round. Those parents paid me to work with their children and then I got to send them home. What a good deal that was!!

The second thing is that I do not have an artistic bone in my body. My type "A" personality does not seem to allow me to be artistic and creative. Now, I can color in the lines with the best of them but I really struggle to draw anything freehand. I know that I don't do it well so I shy away from it. OK, that is an understatement...I stay away from drawing like it is the plague.

Well, this morning Hayden and I sat down with a pile of books and started reading. I love to read and it was going along very well. Then suddenly Hayden stood up and said "Mama draw". He ran to his desk and picked up some paper and a pencil and came back to me and with all kinds of anticipation in his eyes said "Fava Tuck, Mama". My initital response was "No Hayden...you draw Mama a firetruck." That did not go over so well. He said "No, Mama draw."

So, with all the apprehension in the world I started to draw a firetruck. As I am drawing I am thinking "What a lame attempt this is." When I finished Hayden said "Nice. Draw airplane." So, I drew an airplane. Then he asked for a "Nana" (which is a car...cars say nanana...that is where the name comes from). Then a "Bus"...then a "Boat"...then a "Choo Choo"...then a "Peace Car"...then a "Tuck" (truck).

As I drew Hayden smiled ear to ear...the smile that only my sweet boy can do. He didn't care that in the world of artists his Mama would receive a failing grade. He only cared that I was sitting with him...he had 100% of my attention and I was able to "draw" his favorite things.

I now know that I could never have lived my life without children of my own. I love to teach swimming lessons and I love to coach those swim team kids but I think that I was meant to be a Mama. All the years of loving everyone else's kids was preparing me for the time that I would love my own in a way that I never knew possible. I am so proud of each of my kids and I love them so much and yet so differently.

I will NEVER be an artist in the "real" world but in the little "Palmer World" this Mama can draw firetrucks, buses and boats with the best of them. The love in my son's eyes is what tells me that. I hope that he can see the love in my eyes staring right back at him.